


my ghost and your ghost light fires

by spocklee



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 00:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16006130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spocklee/pseuds/spocklee
Summary: there's something out there in those woods that looks familiar.





	my ghost and your ghost light fires

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this fic and ended up kind of creeping myself out but it was fun, happy preliminary halloween. pietro is 1999 anime flashback pietro. i haven't caught up with the manga so lmao this might not actually be accurate to the current arc

The air in the continent was thick, always full of screams and the static of a storm pausing to take a deep breath. There had been an incident in the ship where a cloud of poison had floated into the air vents and one hundred people had gotten sick, despite the antidotes built into the system. Three people had died, down in the med bay. A dozen other incidents.

 

-

 

He followed the apparition off the boat, down the mile of emergency stairs that led down to the beach (the elevator only worked with the approval of three Zodiac members) and assumed naturally that it must be a dream. If it wasn't, then it was worth following the shadow of him all the way down to the shore, to a campfire that burned soundlessly and must have been visible to the guards and the security cameras, if it was real.

 

If it was a trap, it was well-made, and one he could not ignore.

 

-

 

The first time he followed Pietro he felt half-asleep, and made sure to grab his knife off the kitchen counter in his room before closing the door behind him. It was only natural. He had always followed Pietro around before, and there had usually been reason to expect trouble.

 

The forest at the edge of the beach was teeming with a thick cycle of life and death, as clear as cartoonish poison dripping out between the trees. He could hardly see more than a few feet into the shadows, and he didn't want to see further. The beach itself was dangerous enough, with the jellyfish that washed up on shore and the crabs that ate your flesh like piranhas and the turtles that carried a fungus on their backs that lodged spores in your lungs so they could lay their eggs in your ribcage five weeks later. Pietro walked a clear path, and the creatures kept their distance. The dead frightened the living, even here.

 

He sat down at the fire. He looked real. He looked older than when he had died, the way he should have looked by now. The real Pietro was a skeleton at peace in the ground, and this Pietro grabbed a piece of driftwood and poked it into the fire. A cloud of parasitic flies flew out of the wood and into safety in the trees, to eat and be eaten.

 

They sat in silence across from each other. Leorio had questions, and fears, but he also had a peaceful feeling to indulge. They could have been on a beach back home, penniless and roofless, pretending the ocean air was enough to live off of. Except Pietro had the solid shadow of a beard on his chin that he could never grow before, and Leorio had all the money he needed, and they were someplace where even the stars might just be glowbug birds ready to fall on some prey.

 

Without meaning to, he said out loud, "I thought having money would make things easier."

 

Pietro looked up, with a slight smile, "It's not?"

 

"Oh, it is. It's what I have to do to get it that's so complicated."

 

"Your suit is nicer," Pietro smirked down at the fire.

 

"Hey!"

 

He laughed.

 

-

 

Pairo couldn't be real, not here, and not taller than Kurapika remembered, and not walking with a living body's weight across the beach and towards the light of a fire. The animals avoided them; Kurapika corrected himself. The animals avoided _Pairo_ , the corpse of Pairo, and Kurapika was only safe in his wake. If he wanted to get back to the ship, he would need this creature's help.

 

He knew it couldn't be him. Pairo died young. This was a grown man, his brown hair shorter, his shoulders broader. A hallucinogenic trap set by some creature, a shape-shifting carnivore, a trick. Kurapika had followed it out of anger, pure fury that anything, even a simple animal trying to eat, would use his appearance.

 

The creature hadn't even made the mistake of giving him eyes; his eyelids were shut. There was dirt on his clothes, as if he'd been living out in the forest. It was a good try, worthy of the continent.

 

The Pairo sat across from him, and Kurapika remained standing. He folded his arms at the creature, and waited for it to speak.

 

"Are you wondering if it's really me?"

 

Kurapika's jaw twitched, "No. I'm wondering how you managed to use my memories. It's not surprising that animals here might know nen."

 

Pairo smiled, a more rueful and adult kind than he'd ever had a chance for, "Good. You shouldn't let your guard down here."

 

"I won't."

 

He woke up in bed the next morning, unsure of when he had gotten there.

 

-

 

"So what's the story? You've been secretly living on this continent the entire time? I buried a fake body?"

 

"C'mon, Leorio. I know you don't think I'm really me."

 

He was lounging out on the sand, feeling like a beer can should be in his hand, "You were always such a buzzkill."

 

Pietro put a finger on his chin, "Alright, alright. How about... My conscience was absorbed after my death and placed in a cocoon state by a migratory insect, and I was brought here and hatched a few months ago in this form."

 

Leorio laughed, "Ugh, that's too gross."

 

"It's a gross world, friend."

 

Leorio sighed, and the reality of the situation and even the hypothesis sank in, sick and cavernous, "Yeah. It really is. You should have stayed out of it."

 

-

 

The Pairo apparition refused to speak to him in the hallways of the ship, and it only gave him one wide-eyed look over its shoulder on the stairs down. It walked like a wind-up doll to the fire on the beach, and only there did it sit down and become warm and real. Kurapika hated it.

 

"You don't have to think I'm real. But don't look at me that way."

 

"Don't look like that then. I want to see what you really are."

 

It didn't crack some toothy smile, it didn't cackle or sneer. It only leaned its cheek into one hand, and gave a tired sigh.

 

"Why don't you just use one of your powers to see if I'm lying?"

 

"I already know you're lying."

 

It blinked sadly, looking into the fire, "Why don't you use that power of yours that eats away at your life to kill me? To drag me back to the ship?"

 

"Don't look for pity."

 

"I wouldn't expect it from you anymore. You don't even pity yourself."

 

Kurapika didn't know if he could get back to the ship without the creature's help. He sat down and waited to wake up in his bed.

 

"You shouldn't follow me out here. You should get some sleep."

 

-

 

"So who's been taking care of you while I've been gone? That blond guy?"

 

"Hardly," Leorio wished the fire wasn't so warm.

 

"He's cute. Although I always thought your type was handsome brunettes," Pietro stroked his chin and Leorio flicked some sand at him.

 

"Dumbass."

 

"You like him?"

 

"Yeah. I'm here, aren't I?"

 

-

 

"I told you not to follow me anymore."

 

"Then stop appearing."

 

Pairo shrugged.

 

"Fine. Let's talk."

 

"I don't have anything to say to you."

 

Pairo stood up, and brushed the sand off his legs, "Then attack me."

 

Kurapika took a step back, "No."

 

Pairo, calm as always, put his hands on his hips as if they were having a childish argument, "You won't talk to me, but you won't fight me. What are you here for?"

 

Kurapika said nothing.

 

"Admit it. You won't attack me because you can't."

 

He realized he was shaking, and he fell down one knee at a time to the sand. He bent forward, his hands curled up in front of him and his face hidden.

 

"You might as well speak to me, Kurapika."

 

-

 

He thought about bringing some booz this time, but the idea of eating or drinking anything on the beach full of poisons and spores and seeds was revolting. He drank a swig of cold coffee from a cup by the sink and followed Pietro out, hands in his pockets, as easy as anything.

 

Pietro wouldn't speak to him until they reached the fire, and then he would exhale with a deep breath and roll his shoulders as if to stretch.

 

Leorio nodded his head, "What's up with that?"

 

"What?"

 

"You only talk out here?"

 

"I don't like the air on that boat," he wrinkled his nose, "It's different than the air out here. It's not what I'm used to anymore. It makes me feel like I'm holding my breath."

 

"Like being underwater?"

 

"I guess. Not that bad."

 

Leorio blinked at the fire, "He's not really my type."

 

"Oh?" Pietro smiled, not needing to ask who, and leaned on his side.

 

"Kurapika. The blond guy. My friend. Or coworker now, I guess."

 

"He nice to you?"

 

Leorio scratched his neck, "Not really. He was. Now I hardly see him enough for him to be anything."

 

Pietro looked disappointed, and rolled onto his back, "What are you doing here? If you really have money you should be back home, with someone to take care of you, some sweet thing. Isn't that what you wanted?"

 

"I wanted to help people."

 

"Liar. You're heartsick. Chasing a guy who won't even look at you into hell. You were always too soft."

 

"Fuck you."

 

"It's what people like about you, Leorio," Pietro's voice was quiet, "Not the suits, or the confidence act, or what they can get out of you. People just like you."

 

Leorio rubbed his face, "It doesn't matter why I'm here now, does it? I'm here."

 

"You shouldn't be. You should be in vault full of gold and diamonds, locked up safe. A person like you."

 

-

 

"Leorio seems nice."

 

"How do you know about Leorio?"

 

Pairo tilted his head up from the fire, but without his eyes it was only reflexive, "The same way I'm able to get on the boat every night."

 

Kurapika felt the urge to hiss at him, confused and angry, "There's not a lot to say."

 

Pairo smiled, as if trying not to laugh, "I can't say that he's not your type."

 

Kurapika stammered, anger gone for a moment, and Pairo let the laugh out.

 

"How can he be my type? There wasn't a single person like him in the village."

 

"Exactly. You always wanted something different," Pairo's smile softened, "I used to think that maybe we were all too passive for you. You finally found your doctor."

 

Kurapika shook his head, "He would have been a child like us when we needed him."

 

"So? You don't need him now?"

 

-

 

"What you said about the air on the ship... There's no way I could drag you back home, could I?"

 

Pietro's face fell, "No. I should stay here."

 

"Why? How can you live here at all?"

 

"I'm not the same person you used to know. I wasn't joking about that bug thing."

 

"So what, you're really a ghost that got spit out by a bug?"

 

"Is that really so unbelievable? Look at where we are," Pietro's voice had gotten loud and he ducked his head, embarrassed, before continuing quietly, "I didn't want you to see, but I think maybe you should. Come over here."

 

Leorio hesitated, then stood up and walked over to the other side of the fire. Pietro had pulled his ragged sleeve up, but his arm was still in shadow. He held it out to the light of the fire. Leorio flinched.

 

Down his arm was a line of holes, pores with a shiny material like the wing of a beetle surrounding them. They looked like a diagram of a grasshopper Leorio had seen, openings located behind the legs that they used to breathe. Pietro huffed humorlessly, and drew the sleeve back down. It was a thin material.

 

"There's not enough oxygen in the ship. Or back home I suspect. Here, there are so many plants, even with all the animals, that the amount of oxygen in the atmosphere is significantly higher. So I can breathe."

 

Leorio blinked slowly at the covered arm, and then put his hands in his pockets, "You should at least talk with some of the other people on the ship. They can figure out your problem, and would appreciate a guide."

 

Pietro tilted his head, and smiled faintly, opened his mouth as if to say something, and then shrugged, "You know... You may be right."

 

-

 

Kurapika followed Pairo with no complaint. He watched the back of his head as he climbed down the cold emergency stairs, the rough cut of the brown hair on the back of his neck. It was choppy, as if he had cut it himself.

 

The emptiness of the beach was no longer reassuring. Kurapika wanted to go home and sit on some dock and shoo seagulls, and worry at most about a sunburn or a stingray. Here it was all or nothing, be consumed or left completely alone.

 

He sat at ease on the ground, drained of emotion. He didn't want to think about why he still came here. What would happen if he ignored the creature and refused to follow it? Would it disappear or would it haunt the ship? He felt caught either way. The ghost spoke.

 

"Do you remember Zeyra?"

 

Kurapika smiled, remembering the old man who carried around watercolors in a canvas bag and would be found sitting out in the fields or the woods without fail, "Of course. I remember all of you."

 

"He painted every morning."

 

"He started sculpting when you started losing your eyesight, remember?"

 

"The first one felt like a lump," Pairo laughed, his hand against his mouth, "I felt so bad. I thought he was handing me a ladle."

 

"It was a bird!"

 

"A bird with a four inch neck and no feet?"

 

Kurapika had not been able to talk about the clan for years. There was nobody else who would have known what he was talking about, and now he sank with relief into their shared nostalgia. The cluttered inside of Yequin's house, the mural someone had painted on the old stone wall that faded in one summer, Marninet's prized chicken with the bell around its neck. It all felt alive again, conjured up in the smoke and salt on the beach.

 

Pairo had fallen silent, and Kurapika looked up to see him wiping tears off his face.

 

"I'm sorry. I've just wanted to talk about it so bad."

 

Kurapika felt tenderness for this thing, if not the kind he would have felt for Pairo, "It's alright."

 

"Do you still remember the old prayer?"

 

"Of course."

 

_"I will share my happiness and sadness with all my people-"_

_"-And I will sing the glory of the Kurta."_

 

"... The last part?"

 

Kurapika looked at him steadily, and looked down, "I've been saying it differently."

 

" _I swear it on calm hearts."_

Kurapika brought a hand to his chest, and traced across it without thinking as he repeated, "I say it differently now."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because there are no more calm hearts. There are no more of my people left."

 

"Only the latter is true. There are still calm hearts. One that loves you."

 

Kurapika wilted, "He shouldn't."

 

"You don't love him?"

 

He couldn't answer. He would only qualify it, disclaim it, try to find a way to explain to this creature that the love he felt for Leorio was worse than worthless. It was wasteful of a good friend, when Leorio needed to move on and find someone simple and good.

 

"He's too kind," Kurapika smiled at a patch of sand where an ember had fell and burned away, "But he's certainly not a pushover. When we first met I couldn't imagine a good thing about him. But we're so similar. Except I wish-"

 

He shook his head.

 

"What?"

 

"He's becoming a doctor. And what am I doing? I can't look at him without doubting myself. I," he grit his teeth and breathed out, "I resent him sometimes. Why can't what I'm doing feel that noble? But I have to do it. I can't let it go."

 

"Not for him?"

 

"No."

 

"If you succeeded, and survived-" Pairo's jaw tightened at the condition, "Would you be with him then?"

 

He hid his face in his hands, "If I could."

 

"Do you think it would work out?"

 

"I don't think that far ahead. I can't. I just think about how nice it would feel," he pressed against his eyelids, "just being around him every day."

 

-

 

Pietro did not come that night. Leorio waited, and then went out into the hallway, and walked all the way to the stairwell. There was nobody. He walked down, and stepped outside onto the beach.

 

There was a figure outside, but just far out of reach that he couldn't see it, and he felt the switchblade in his pocket and followed it.

 

Next to the fire, it was still only a silhouette to him, and he waited on one side of it as it walked across from him. It's face became clear in the light.

 

"Kurapika?"

 

He looked like had been crying, and he walked to Leorio with tentative steps. Leorio took a step towards him, and Kurapika fell against his chest. A sob shook his back.

 

"Kurapika? What are you doing out here, you should be inside--"

 

"It's just been so hard. I'm so tired, Leorio."

 

His hands rubbed against his back, wrinkling the strange texture of his shirt, "It's okay. I'm here. We should go inside though-"

 

Kurapika shook his head against him, and looked up, his eyes bright red but different in the light of the fire, "I don't want to go back. Not right now. The people in there, the killers and the collectors, all of them, it all disgusts me."

 

Leorio took him by the shoulders, "Stay in my room. Just until you feel better. You've been running yourself ragged for years now, you can take it easy for one night."

 

The way Kurapika's palms laid on his chest changed, in some small way, "Could I really?"

 

"Y-yeah, of course. But let's go-"

 

"Leorio, I've," Kurapika ducked his head down, "I've... You can't understand how hard it is to stay away from you. Even now, I'm afraid staying in your room for even one night could get you killed."

 

He moved the hand on Kurapika's shoulder to the back of his neck. He rubbed it with his thumb, until Kurapika looked up at him.

 

"Sometimes I wish you'd look out for yourself as much as you look out for me."

 

"Leorio..." Kurapika's eyes were soft, unmistakably and miraculously longing, and his face was getting closer, and Leorio realized he was standing on his toes, and his arms were wrapping around his neck, and he leaned his own face down to bridge the distance when a voice called out from the woods.

 

"Leorio! It's not real! Get away from him!"

 

He pulled away from Kurapika, obeying Pietro's voice on childhood instinct. Kurapika's form fell into the dark and disappeared, and the flashing shadows of the fire were suddenly dizzying. There was a hand on his arm, and Pietro's voice again in his ears.

 

"Leorio, come on! Follow me!"

 

The hand let go, and Leorio followed Pietro into the woods.

 

-

 

When he stepped out of his room, there was Pairo already at the end of the hallway, and he beckoned with a sharp arm before disappearing around the corner. Kurapika ran, without processing. He followed the fleeting image of Pairo far ahead of him through the stairwell, his footsteps clattering endlessly down the echoing steps all the way, down and down. They got to the shore and the emergency door, heavy and barricaded, fell shut like a gate to hell behind him. Pairo finally stopped and turned around, his posture tense with panic and not exhaustion.

 

"It's Leorio! He's out there--"

 

"What? Where? Pairo, what happened--"

 

"He's in danger! Come on!"

 

Between following Pairo and Leorio in danger, there was no time for rational thought. Kurapika ran into the woods after him.

 

-

 

HUNTER ENTRY:

>ANIMAL

>>MYTHICAL ANIMALS

>>>"Living Fire"

 

_All information is based on ancient historical texts, due to no modern records or evidence of living fire. An animal capable of using nen, it exists as high-level energy with a gametozooic form that can exist as solid matter controlled by the main body. It uses a manipulative form of hallucinogenic and disorienting fumes that lure intelligent prey, who are 'eaten' typically when the gametozooic form pushes or convinces them into the fire. Hallucinations tend to be obvious to more intelligent species but take advantage of familiarizing with prey and destabilizing them, and are based on prey's own thought patterns (i.e., the hallucinations are based on inducing prey's own subconscious desires and memories rather than relying on animal's limited knowledge of prey). Reproduction is done through embers on wind._

_There is debate on whether or not living fire counts as an animal. Arguments favoring it as an animal argue that it does not use photosynthesis and that it has a solid matter form in the gametozooic offshoot. Arguments against point out that the solid matter form seems to be a vestigial reproductive stage similar to those in ancient plants, even if it no longer functions as reproductive (unless the gametozooic forms function for sexual reproduction, although there are no written records to support this claim)._

_Most texts come from the Ertug continent, dating back to the Pzurt Dynasty. A notable text claims that all the living fire was hunted out of the continent by a king who summoned a year long storm to drown them out._

_-_

The fear in the woods was thicker than the beach could ever hope to be, and some of the plants grew so fast to replace the destruction of the beasts that they could be seen moving, expanding, reaching out and catching on Leorio's clothing.

 

Something tugged on his collar so sharply that it whipped his head back, and he had to turn around and snap a vine that was beginning to curl around his throat. It had little white flowers all over it, and was so strong that he had to use nen just to break it.

 

He turned back to the path, but Pietro was gone.

 

"Pie-" he stopped himself, thinking of what might find him instead if he called attention.

 

He took some deep breaths, and even then they were too fast as he thought about what would happen if there was poison gas around. He was the worst at staying calm, and always had been, and always knew it. Yorknew, despite everything, had been a city, and a city was only run by people. What did he know about a place like this?

 

There was a flickering light that caught his eye, several yards ahead. He ran towards it.

 

-

 

Kurapika blinked, and lost sight of Pairo. There was so much movement and life in the woods that he couldn't sense what rustle of leaves and brush might be him. He curled his hands into fists and stared at a tree trunk. He would have to navigate his way back out.

 

"Hey! Over here!"

 

Normally the voice wouldn't have shocked him, even in a place like this; there were at least 10 species of birds who would use human calls to lure prey into traps. What made him turn his head was that the voice spoke in Kurta, and sounded like an old man.

 

He looked for it in the dark, and there he was; an old man stepping out of the brush, beaten and bloody, limping, and wearing the rags of Kurta clothing.

 

"Another Kurta... I can't believe it. Why are you here?" The old man trembled, and Kurapika felt a wave of nausea. He held out a hand to stop him from walking nearer.

 

"Who are you?"

 

"I'm Yenigtha. I came to this continent as a young man, on an expedition... My entire crew died, and I was never able to make it back," he coughed heavily, "I've survived so far, but I've been getting weaker, and I was attacked tonight. The only reason I'm still alive is a young man saved me..."

 

Kurapika's chest froze, "What young man?"

 

"He was tall, with glasses. He said to head to shore. Who are you?"

 

Behind all the worry and fear, Kurapika remembered vaguely an old woman who said her father had left long ago, a man named Yenigtha, "I'm Kurapika. Please, as a fellow Kurta, could you lead me to this young man?"

 

The old man shifted his head, his eyes firm and bright and brown, "I left him in danger not too far from here..."

 

"Please, you have to take me to him."

 

The old man breathed in and nodded, clearly resolving himself, "Of course. I owe him my life."

 

Kurapika followed the old man, slower than Pairo, digging his fingernails into his palms to keep from expressing his frustration at their pace.

 

-

 

He reached the flickering light-- it was another campfire. It was silent like the one on the beach. He remained at the edge of the clearing, looking for a familiar silhouette. He had managed to get himself further into the woods, and would only survive with a guide out. He caught the shape of someone on the other side of the flames. He pulled his knife out and edged around the clearing perimeter.

 

The shape moved toward him. It was familiar. Leorio dropped his knife as Kurapika ran towards him, and threw his arms around him in a squeezing hug.

 

"Leorio... You're alright."

 

Leorio blinked away the deja vu, "Listen, I don't know what's going on, but let's get out of here."

 

Kurapika lifted his head, and the look in his eyes was different from the embrace on the beach. His hands pressed against Leorio's chest and stroked down to his stomach, before settling on his hips.

 

"We're safe near the fire... Leorio, I don't want our first time to be on that ship with all those creatures..."

 

Leorio grabbed his elbows and held him off, his face heating even as he sensed something wrong, "What are you talking about? It's only more dangerous here-"

 

Kurapika moved closer, until their bodies were brushing again, "At least the things here are only trying to survive. The people on that boat... They're just killing for fun, for power, for playthings. I'd wish they all die," he stood on his toes, and leaned into Leorio's neck so that his breath was against it, "But not you. Oh, Leorio, I know you think about me, you want me, you love me."

 

Leorio only stammered, and his grip on his elbows tightened and loosened as Kurapika continued to murmur against his jaw.

 

"I've pushed you away for so long and I'm so tired of it, of myself... I want you to have me," he lifted his head up, and his eyes were red, but in a dull and glassy way, "Please, let's be together. Finally."

 

Leorio pushed him away, "You're not feeling well. There's something wrong."

 

Another voice came from behind him, "Wow, you actually figured something out by yourself, Leorio."

 

It was Kurapika, another one, arms folded and drawling at him in the same unimpressed way he had when they first met. He stepped out of the shadows and into the light of the fire. He blinked at Leorio and the doppelganger.

 

"It must be a shapeshifter that lures prey based on what they want most."

 

The other Kurapika leapt back into a fighting pose, "Don't listen to him, Leorio! It's a fake!"

 

The second Kurapika sighed, "Leorio, I'm sure even you can figure out who the real one is."

 

He turned back and forth between them, "I..."

 

"Oh, come on! You really think I'd ever go for someone like you?"

 

"Don't listen to him! I love you, Leorio!"

 

"It's preying on your desires, Leorio, snap out of it!"

 

"Leorio!"

 

"Leorio!"

 

He felt sweat on the back of his neck. He turned away from the two of them, to look behind him, and saw another Kurapika, sitting on the ground, leg folded in a casual pose, and with cold eyes. It watched him.

 

-

 

The old man led him to a fire in a clearing, and stuck his arm out to keep Kurapika from walking out of the cover of the trees.

 

"Wait. The creature could still be--"

 

The arm was shoved out of the way. Kurapika had seen a dark shape on the ground, familiar even in its broken vagueness, and ran towards it.

 

It was in two pieces. There was a pair of gold-rimmed glasses near the smaller piece, broken. The frame was snapped, and the glass was shattered. It was easier to focus on than the sight of the body and head that kept blurring in and out of his thoughts.

 

He fell to his knees. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and an old voice in Kurta started speaking a funeral prayer.

 

He had always thought about Leorio dying, and told himself that by considering the possibility, he had prepared himself for it one day happening. It had been a foolish comfort. He hadn't really let himself think of what it would be like. One half of him had said that tragedy could always strike twice, and that he should steel himself, but the other half had been childish and hopeful, secretly cherishing the idea that Leorio was charmed and would die an old man in a soft bed. That he deserved life, and that contrary to all human history, that meant he would get it.

 

He felt himself losing consciousness, a certain death sentence out here, and couldn't fight it. The hand on his shoulder shook him, and Yenigtha's voice was muffled as his vision tunneled.

 

His senses sharpened before he even processed why; there had been a yell from somewhere in the woods, not too far away. His breathing cleared. It had sounded like Leorio.

 

The hand on his shoulder froze.

 

-

 

Leorio yelled, "Everyone shut up!"

 

The two Kurapikas turned silent, and the third remained sitting quietly.

 

"Whatever is going on here, there's no reason it can't happen on the beach. I want to be led out of this forest, right now."

 

The first Kurapika pawed at his arm, "I don't want to go back to the ship--"

 

Leorio threw the hand off his arm, "I already know you're not the real one. Don't touch me again."

 

It flinched, and stepped back, "Leorio--"

 

"Shut up."

 

The second Kurapika sighed, "What gave it away? The fact that I would never be so pathetic?"

 

Leorio bent down and picked up the knife he'd dropped, "He would never drag me into danger just to fuck around in a place like this," he stood back up, with the knife pointed at the second one, "And he would never speak to a friend like that. Faker."

 

The third one, down by the fire, finally spoke, "So are you ready to head back now?"

 

Leorio kept the knife pointed at the second one, "What, you were waiting for me to figure it out?"

 

"I didn't want to add more confusion. I had faith you would be able to figure out they were both fake on your own."

 

The other two Kurapikas had disappeared, "You know how to get out of here?"

 

The third one relaxed, if only grudgingly, "No. I think we should stay here near the fire until daylight. They might send out a search party."

 

-

 

Kurapika lunged towards the direction of the yell, but the hand on his shoulder held him tight.

 

"Where are you going? That creature could still be out there!"

 

"Leorio! I heard him--"

 

"It's a creature trying to trick you! We need to get out of the woods! Your friend is dead, my son!"

 

He wrenched his shoulder away, "I have to know. I can't leave until I'm sure there's nothing I can do."

 

Yenigtha's eyes were sad, "He's gone. Please, I am asking you for my own safety. I have dreamed of going home for years. Take me back."

 

Kurapika shivered. The chance to save even one Kurta was immense.

 

"Have you seen another Kurta in these woods? A young man named Pairo?"

 

Yenigtha's eyes widened, "That creature? Kurapika, listen to me, whatever he was before, that thing cannot be trusted--"

 

"Kurapika, don't listen, that old man is a trick!" Pairo had appeared, at the other side of the fire. It was strange and terrible in this way to see two other Kurta for the first time in years.

 

"Kurapika, that young man is the shapeshifter from before! You have to throw it in the fire to kill it!"

 

"Kurapika, that old man is the creature! Please, push him into the fire!"

 

They were both getting closer, and Kurapika backed against the wall of heat behind him.

 

-

 

Leorio sat across from the remaining Kurapika, and then moved closer after realizing the fire was too strong and high to see over. He kept his knife in his hand, but it was lax against his knee.

 

"I can't wait to get back to the ship."

 

"You should get some sleep. It will be awhile before sunrise."

 

Leorio kept his eye on the burning wood, "I think I'll stay awake, thanks."

 

"You still don't trust me?"

 

"No."

 

There was a huff of laughter next to him, which surprised him. Kurapika was smiling, his shoulders losing tension.

 

"Good. You need to be more cautious."

 

"Hey! It's not like I go trusting everybody I meet."

 

Kurapika only pressed his smile against his own knees, curled up to his chin.

 

"Damn. This fire is so warm. It's drawing too much attention," Leorio stood up, and sensed Kurapika tense again, "I'm gonna knock it down a bit--"

 

He kicked some dirt onto it, just as Kurapika reached for his ankle and cried, "No!"

 

The fire weakened with a hideous scream, and the grasp on his ankle went tight.

 

-

 

Both Yenigtha and Pairo were a foot away from him, pleading, concerned, their eyes already turning a warm red--

 

He realized the flaw, and tried not to let it show on his face. There had to be something more to it though. He would have to figure out the answer to this riddle quickly. He could only back up so far before he'd be standing in the fire--

 

Kurapika stopped, and did his best to look anguished as he shut his eyes, "I've made my decision!"

 

The approaching hands stretched towards him stopped, "You have?"

 

"Yes," he leapt up, caught a branch, and broke it off as he landed on the other side of the fire. It was a thick limb, at least a foot across in diameter.

 

"Kurapika, what are you doing?"

 

"I'm going to use this as a dowsing stick, to find out who the liar is."

 

"How are you--"

 

He slammed the branch across the ground, and dragged it with enough strength to pull up the soil two feet deep. He swept it onto the fire with a striking motion that also sent the burning wood skittering across the ground. There was a horrible scream, and the two Kurta shuddered in and out of focus. He wielded the branch like a bat. A true fury was rising up in him, one that had been waiting since he'd first suspected he was being deceived.

 

"Just kidding."

 

He struck the fire again, ignoring the two faceless shapes running towards him.

 

-

 

Leorio heard another screaming cry somewhere in the woods, like the one that had come from the campfire. He looked down at the hand around his ankle. Kurapika looked alarmed, but his grip remained tight.

 

"The fire is the only thing keeping us safe. If you weaken it, we might be attacked."

 

Leorio's eyes narrowed, "... You really think so?"

 

"Yes. In fact, we should throw some more wood onto it."

 

Leorio stared at him a few seconds more, and then broke into a grin, "Alright. I trust your judgement. Hey, what was your mother's name?"

 

The grip on his ankle loosened, and he readied to move his leg at the first opportunity as the Kurapika on the ground looked confused, "I... What are you talking about?"

 

"Your mother's name. You never told me."

 

"We don't have time for that!"

 

"We have until sunrise. C'mon. Just tell me."

 

Kurapika looked angry, "That's personal. You should mind your business."

 

"Aw, what's the matter? Don't you know it?"

 

The hand clawed at him as he jumped backwards. He blocked another hand aimed at his throat with his knife. He laughed breathlessly at the creature furiously striking at him even as he failed to find an opening.

 

"Kurapika would tell me something like that if I asked. And he would definitely have beaten me in a fight by now."

 

The creature's similarity to Kurapika was shifting back and forth between a perfect copy to something uncanny, like a poorly made wax figure. Its strikes were weak, but if Leorio turned his back for even a moment to run, he would leave his back unprotected. If he tried to run through the woods while dodging the creature, he'd certainly be too distracted to fend off other dangers. He grit his teeth.

 

"Leorio! It's the fire!"

 

He looked automatically towards the voice, a fourth Kurapika from the clearing's edge, and failed to dodge a strike from the one he was fighting. He winced as a blow struck him in the chest, and another followed it. He was soon on the ground, tackled and unable to fend off the thing on top of him.

 

There was a sudden wind, that kicked up dust and left the light from the fire shaking and screaming. The thing on top of him paused long enough that he threw it off, and it fell into the fire. It burned like a piece of wood, and looking closer, he saw that was all it seemed to be; a piece of wood in the shape of a person. It burned quietly, and the screaming stopped as the flames grew stronger from the new fuel. The fourth Kurapika was holding a giant branch, and there was a ditch carved into the ground.

 

"Leorio! We have to put out the fire! It's the source of it!"

 

He accepted this. The two of them kicked and brushed dirt onto the fire, beat it with branches and dropped rocks on it, until the screaming stopped and it went cold.

 

-

 

Together, they walked out of the clearing, which had already started filling with the curious inspection of other animals looking for a niche. They walked towards the scent of the ocean.

 

There was the light of the fire on the beach still, and they both stood and sighed at the idea of hearing the shrieking death cries again. Leorio pointed.

 

"Hey, wait. Look."

 

There was a man standing by the fire. They could just manage to see him. Leorio's voice was quiet.

 

"Can you see him? What does he look like to you?"

 

Kurapika squinted, the hint of gyo around his eyes, "He has brown hair and the shadow of a beard. He's almost as tall as you. Do you know him?"

 

"Yeah. It's Pietro."

 

Kurapika stopped squinting and looked at him, "Leorio..."

 

"I know it's not really him. But I'm glad you could see him. Even if it's like this."

 

Kurapika paused, and then replied gently, "We need to go get rid of that fire before we get back on the boat."

 

"I know. But it was nice seeing him one last time."

 

-

 

They stumbled back up the stairs, and at Leorio's door, Kurapika nodded and kept walking.

 

"Really? Are you kidding?"

 

Kurapika turned, his eyes already bloodshot, "What?"

 

"You're just gonna pretend none of that shit happened?"

 

He shook his head, "So much happens. It's fine."

 

"It's not! If you go back to your room now, I'm gonna be up all night worrying about you. And frankly, to be selfish, I could really use you right now," Leorio's shoulders slackened, "Please. Just tonight."

 

Kurapika looked exhausted, and his eyes turned cold suddenly, "Wait."

 

"What?"

 

"Let me make sure you're really you," the dowsing chain appeared on his hand.

 

Leorio stuck his hands in his pockets, "Alright. I'm the real Leorio. I'm human, and I've known you for several years now."

 

Kurapika watched the pendulum, then dismissed it, "Okay. You're not lying."

 

Leorio walked into the room, and Kurapika stopped at the threshold, "Don't you want to find a way to check if it's really me?"

 

Leorio waved his hand without turning around or stopping, his back hunched over, "I know it's you."

 

Kurapika paused, his hand on the doorframe, and followed him inside. He closed the door.

 

-

 

Leorio drank a cold cup of coffee before making more, and then he drank a second cup after pushing another at Kurapika. They sat at the kitchen table. Leorio put his head in his hands.

 

"Fuck. I'm still too tired right now."

 

He stood up and pushed his chair back with a squeak, "You can take the bed. I'm gonna crash on the couch."

 

"You don't have to do that."

 

"I'm not making you sleep on the couch."

 

Kurapika looked into the bottom of his mug, but there was only an oil slick of leftover coffee and nothing to help him, "We can both sleep in the bed."

 

Leorio, his hand still on the back of his chair, looked at him seriously, "You really alright with that?"

 

"It's just sleep."

 

Still, he almost dropped his mug as he set it by the sink. Leorio was already in the bathroom, the sound of the shower running. Kurapika gripped the edge of the counter and forced himself to exhale big enough to forget what he was doing, if only for a second.

 

-

 

Leorio stepped out of the bathroom in boxers and a cloud of steam, and saw the bed was empty. Kurapika must have left.

 

There was a movement from the floor. He looked down, and Kurapika stumbled to his feet from where he'd been sitting against the wall. He looked like he had fallen asleep there.

 

"Have you been waiting this whole time for the shower?"

 

"I'm covered in dirt and soot and sweat. I didn't want to get it on the bed."

 

Leorio stared at him, and just shook his head and smiled, "Weirdo."

 

"You're the one who was showering for half an hour!"

 

"Yeah," he rubbed his neck, ignoring the glare, "I guess I thought it would clear my head, but I just kind of stood there thinking about everything. Anyways, sorry. You can borrow some clothes."

 

He collapsed on the bed facedown, the towel still around his neck, and stayed awake long enough to hear the door close. If he heard the water turn on, it was through a long, long tunnel.

 

-

 

Kurapika stood in the shower. He could have said something earlier, like _Let's shower together. Let's save water, and time, and talking. Let's keep our minds off it._ It would have been forced. His feet left dirty footprints on the bathtub floor, and then washed away.

 

There was cologne on the sink that was Leorio's, not a standard of the ships. He scowled a little at the film of beard hair left near the drain. There were no clothes in the bathroom, and he edged the door open to find that Leorio had fallen asleep without leaving anything out for him. He wrapped the towel around himself and tiptoed to the closet in the dark, and pushed aside the hangers of suits and uniforms to grab a t-shirt and sweatpants from the drawers. They were so big that the pants were almost redundant; still. He grabbed a pair of boxers without looking.

 

He fell on the bed, dressed, sighed, and got up to throw both his and Leorio's used clothes in the decontaminator that was built into each room. It was an antiseptic chute to a specialized laundry room that ran every hour of the day. He laid back down on the bed, more careful than before. He closed his eyes and laid his hands over his chest. It was nothing, to lie there and breathe until he fell asleep.

 

There was a shift in pressure on the mattress and the illusion of being alone was ruined. Leorio had rolled over, and Kurapika waited for him to say something. His voice was half-asleep, and it made him ache, the way that thinking of them showering together had before he had cranked the cold water. The knowledge of the weight of his body, and the way he could feel him move just by lying a few feet away. It almost felt like touching him.

 

"Hm. Go to sleep."

 

"I'm trying, Leorio."

 

A mumbling that could have been, "Okay."

 

Leorio had rolled onto his stomach, and was facing him, his arm outstretched towards him. Kurapika stared at his hand.

 

"Leorio?"

 

"Mm?"

 

"Wake me up when you wake up."

 

"Mm."

 

"Don't leave without waking me up."

 

His eyes flickered open, and there was a shred of understanding in them, "Okay."

 

His fingers flexed. Kurapika reached out his own hand, until his hand was just next to his hand, and the tips of his fingers just reached the edge of his palm.

 

-

 

Kurapika woke up with someone shaking his shoulder. He felt thick and slow. The hand kept shaking, and Leorio's face came into view.

 

"Kurapika? Hey, wake up."

 

It was still dark in the room. Leorio wasn't even wearing his glasses. Kurapika wondered if it was still a trap, if he was still out in the woods and his mind was inventing some final comfort as a giant spider ate him alive.

 

He lifted a hand up, so gradually that when it reached Leorio's cheek he looked surprised by it. He stopped shaking him.

 

"Kurapika?"

 

He guided Leorio's face down, and liked the obedient way that Leorio let him, the way his eyelids sunk slightly and his lips parted. When they were close enough, he pressed his mouth against Leorio's, almost too soft and exhausted to be a kiss.

 

His head fell back with a puff of air against the pillow. It was a nice dream.

 

"Uh, Kurapika? You awake or not?"

 

The shoulder shaking resumed. He realized with a sickening lurch that he really was awake.

 

"Oh! Oh, Leorio, I'm sorry, I--" He sat up and hid his face in his hands.

 

He heard Leorio cackling, and peeked through his fingers. Leorio had stopped laughing only to move his face close with an infuriatingly smug grin.

 

"You like me."

 

He closed his fingers again, "Shut up. I never said that."

 

Leorio sounded more thoughtful, and less mocking, "No. But your eyes did."

 

Kurapika's breath caught, and Leorio must have noticed the sharp movement in his chest, judging by the change in his tone.

 

"Hey, Kurapika... If I'm wrong, I'm sorry. If you really didn't mean to do that, I'll leave it alone."

 

He kept his hands over his face, and after a moment, he felt the pressure shift as Leorio moved to get off the edge of the bed, "Wait."

 

The weight resettled.

 

"I meant it. Or, I didn't know it was real, but I... dammit."

 

Leorio didn't say anything. Kurapika felt a light touch on his knuckle, and then after some hesitation, another on his left ring finger. Another on the back of his right hand. The bone on his right wrist. His left index finger. There was the grazing sensation of something rough, and he realized it was Leorio's stubble. Leorio was kissing his hands.

 

Kurapika pulled them away from his face. Leorio was close again, but with no smug grin. He looked nervous.

 

"Good?"

 

"Yeah."

 

Leorio put his hand on his own chin, the smugness returning but clearly only to hide some leftover anxiety, "How good?"

 

"Shut up," he only sounded fond now.

 

Leorio stretched his arms up, and then lounged next to him, "You want to talk about the whole thing yet?"

 

Kurapika lay back, and closed his eyes. He kept his hands on his chest, trying to discreetly keep the parts that Leorio kissed from touching anything to preserve the sensation a little longer.

 

"I thought I would when we woke up. But I'm still tired."

 

"How much sleep have you been getting anyways?"

 

"Not now."

 

"What do you mean, not now?"

 

"No doctor stuff right now."

 

"... Sometimes you and Gon have a lot of stuff in common."

 

"Hm."

 

Some silence, and then, whispered, "Hey, Kurapika. You falling sleep?"

 

He was, without realizing it, "Oh. Yeah. I guess. Why?"

 

Leorio scratched his nose, "I was just wondering what you wanted to do now..."

 

Kurapika caught on, and shuffled over so he could rest his head on Leorio's chest. His hand fell on his shoulder.

 

"Nothing. Just sleep."

 

A hand fell on his back, "Okay."

 

-

 

"How did you know?"

 

"Pairo had eyes all of a sudden. The hallucinogenic was slipping, or else the emotional side of my subconscious was overpowering the logical side."

 

"Hm. That was it?"

 

"You were there too."

 

"Oh... What was I doing?"

 

"Nothing. You were dead."

 

"Oh."

 

-

 

"What did they try on you? Other than Pietro?"

 

"Well..."

 

"Uh oh."

 

"It's not that bad! You were there..."

 

"Okay..."

 

"There were three of you actually..."

 

"Is that what you fantasize about?"

 

"N-no! Shut up! Only one of you was trying to have se-- to uh--"

 

"Oh, really? Only one?"

 

"Stop laughing!"

 

-

 

"It's almost six."

 

"Yeah."

 

Kurapika had tucked his head under Leorio's chin, and Leorio was lazily rubbing his arm. They were both looking at the wall.

 

"We should make a report of what happened, so people know."

 

"Yeah," the hand didn't stop moving up and down his arm.

 

Kurapika peeled himself away, and the hand on his arm relented and only brushed across his back as he turned around. He pushed Leorio down against the bed. Leorio watched him calmly, curiously. He didn't seem surprised, or maybe he just knew they didn't have time for it.

 

"Leorio..."

 

"I know. Things will go back to normal as soon as we leave the room."

 

Kurapika winced, "I wish you didn't say it out loud..."

 

"It's true, isn't it?"

 

"Yes. But I wish, for right now," he hoped he could say everything he felt, one way or another, "we could pretend that it wasn't."

 

-

 

"I was lying to myself," Kurapika said up to the ceiling, not wanting to watch Leorio put on clothes and get ready to leave.

 

"Yeah? What about this time?"

 

"About why I can't do this."

 

Leorio paused in buttoning on his shirt, his back to him, "Yeah?"

 

"I kept telling myself that I wanted to protect you. I didn't want to get you involved again, not after what happened with Gon and Killua."

 

His voice was low, cautiously casual, "And what's the real reason?"

 

"You're in danger no matter what. My family lived peacefully in the countryside. It didn't save them. Uvo was strong, and it didn't save him. Anything could kill anybody. What I was really scared of was having something to live for."

 

Leorio froze again, and this time did not continue. Kurapika kept murmuring to the ceiling.

 

"If I was fighting a Phantom member, and the whole time I was thinking, 'I can't die, I can't do that to Leorio,' then it would hold me back. It would make me hesitate, and I would fail. Ironically the hesitation might kill me. I would be too afraid to do anything," he said it all as if he was solving a riddle out loud, and he smiled a little, as he felt the weight settle on the end of the bed, the smell of cheap and sentimental cologne drift closer, the hand reach out and brush his calf, "How does anybody do it? Love someone..."

 

"Kurapika... You know that I've been in--"

 

"Don't tell me today," he leaned up from the bed, and propped himself up on his elbow, "One day I'll figure it out. I promise. We'll both be alive. Tell me then."

 

-

-

-

*

**Author's Note:**

> and then nothing dangerous ever happened, again


End file.
